32. Play to People’s Strategy
The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant.
Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: everyone flocks to them.
Fantasy takes hold in a decadent context: they work only when reality is gloomy. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.
Don’t look at what people are. Look at the stories you can tell them about themselves.
Find some examples below.
The reality: Change is slow, gradual, demands hard work, luck, and patience.
The fantasy: A sudden transformation will bring a total change without the need for time, luck, or effort.
The reality: The social life has codes and rules we need to respect and live with.
The fantasy: There is out there a totally different world with new rules and adventure.
The reality: Society is fragmented and full of conflict.
The fantasy: People can come together in a mystical union of souls.
The Reality: Death. The dead cannot be brought back, the past cannot be changed.
The Fantasy: A sudden reversal of this intolerable fact.
Reversal: Keep the fantasy light. The public doesn’t like to find it’s being played.
33. Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew
Everyone has a weakness. That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or a need. It can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.
How to find the thumbscrew:
- Pay attention to gestures and unconscious signals.
- Find the helpless child: when children grow up lacking something from their parents, they will behave as a child again if you supply it to them.
- Look for contrasts: people who thump their chests are often big cowards; the uptight is dying for adventure; the shy is craving for attention.
- Find the weak link: there often is someone behind the scene with all of the power. Find that person.
- Fill the void: the two emotional voids to fill are insecurity and unhappiness. The insecure seeks social validation, while the unhappy has roots in his unhappiness. Fill their emotional void.
- Feed on uncontrollable emotions: these are paranoia, hatred, lust, and greed. If you make them feel these, you will be able to control them.
Reversal: playing on people’s weaknesses may backfire as you can lose control of them at some point. Push the shy into adventure and they may go too far. Know the limits of the game and remember that as euphoric as it is, you are after power. Not control.
34. Be Royal In Your Own Fashion: Act Like A King To Be Treated Like One
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated: in the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.
Kings that don’t respect themselves are quickly replaced. By acting confident in yourself, you seem destined to wear a crown.
As children, we have great ambitions and demand the best. As we fail in life, we learn to decrease our expectations and apologize for the smallest requests we make.
The idea is to do the exact opposite.
Go bigger. Never stop.
If you believe you are destined for great things, this belief will radiate outward.
When you believe so much in your own greatness, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Act differently, keeping distance from others to outline your difference.
Here are a few strategies:
- The Columbus Strategy: Always make a bold demand (he asked to receive the title of Commander of the Seas).
- The David and Goliath Strategy: go after the highest person in the building.
- Give a gift to those above you
It’s up to you to set your own price. Ask for less, and you will get less.
Ask for more, and you signal what you think your worth is.
Even if people turn you down, they will respect you more then.
Reversal: if you set yourself apart too much, you will fail. Never try to elevate yourself by bringing others down. And don’t rise too high either. Do not mistake confidence for arrogance.
35. Master The Art Of Timing
Never seem to be in a hurry. It betrays a lack of control over yourself and over time. Always give the impression that you know that everything will come to you eventually.
- Become a detective of the right moment
- Sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power.
- Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe
- Strike fiercely when the moment has arrived.
Time depends on perception. For a child, it’s slow. For an adult, it’s fast.
When we are in the turmoil of our emotions, time is fast. When we control our emotions, time is slow.
There are three types of time.
- Long-time: counted in years, it has to be managed with patience. Handle defensively: don’t react impulsively, and wait for the opportunity.
- Forced time: short-term time we can manipulate to upset our opponent.
- End-time: the moment we need to take action.
This law knows no reversal.
36. Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring Them Is The Best Revenge
By acknowledging a petty problem, you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it.
The more you want something, the more you chase after it, the more it eludes you.
The more interest you show, the more you repel the object of your desire because it makes people feel awkward.
It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, forget about it.
It will create a reaction to the object of your desire. Ignoring enhances your power.
Trying to fix your mistakes often makes them worse.
Here’s how you can execute this law.
- If there is something you want and cannot have, the worst you can do is complain about it.
- When someone under you attacks you, look away and make it understand that the attack just flew by and does not matter one bit.
- When a superior calls you out, don’t say anything and fix your mistake quickly.
Reversal: some problems will worsen if left unattended.
37. Create Compelling Spectacles
Using words is dangerous, as they can be wrongly interpreted, or phrased. When you do, instead of talk, you short-circuit logic.
Words put you on the defensive. If you have to explain yourself, you already lost.
Use symbols, colors, and associate yourself with them to inspire.
This is easy to do. People love what is grand, spectacular, and larger than life. Appeal to their emotions and they will flock to your spectacle in hordes. The visual is the easiest route to their hearts
This law knows no reversal.
38. Think As You Like But Behave Like Others
If you are constantly doing the opposite of others, people will think you just want attention.
From an early age, we learn to never say exactly what we think but tell what others want to hear.
There is nonetheless a small minority that sees this as a restriction on their freedom. In the end, they offend many more people than they become friends with.
Don’t try to be too special. Blend in instead. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.
Reversal: the only time you can be outrageously different is when you’re already in power.
39. Stir Up Waters to Catch Fish
Anger and emotions are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain an advantage.
Angry people are ridiculizing themselves as their reaction looks out of proportion. The truth is that anger is a sign of weakness.
So, how can we stop reacting with anger?
Do we have to repress it? No.
We need to realize that in the realm of social relationships, nothing is ever personal. The way people react to you is not due to you, but due to their past (childhood, traumas, etc).
Reversal: some fish are better left at the bottom of the pond. They are people you never want to get angry with.
40. Despise the Free Lunch
What is offered for free is dangerous. It usually involves a trick or a hidden obligation.
What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way, you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit.
Everything must be measured by its cost and everything has a price in the realm of power. What’s free has no value.
Pay the full price, and be lavish with your money. Keep it circulating for generosity. It is a sign and a magnet of power.
All of the powerful were freely spreading their money. It made them powerful.
On the opposite, they are types of people that won’t do so.
- The Greedy Fish: they see life as a balance sheet.
- The Bargain Demon: the bargain demon will spend 2 hours negotiating a 10% discount. He does not understand that time also has value.
- The Sadist: the sadist will make it a purpose not to pay after hiring you. They also think that because they are paying you, they are owning you.
- The Indiscriminate Giver: this one does not give to achieve power, but to be loved and admired. They are so needy that they achieve the opposite intent.
Reversal: never accept what’s free, but don’t hesitate to offer it yourself.
41: Avoid Stepping Into A Great Man’s Shoes
What appears first always looks better and more original than what comes after.
If you have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them.
Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past that is not of your own making.
Establish your own name and identity by changing course. “Kill” your father and destroy his legacy.
Most heroes don’t know their fathers, which enables them to build a life of their own. As for those that did, they often had to kill him.
Power is about filling a void that has been cleared.
One of the best ways to get rid of the past is to differentiate strongly from it or to oppose it.
Yet, many have thought in history (and keep on thinking it) that because someone before you succeeded by doing xyz, you can succeed by doing the same.
It’s wrong. Get rid of the past and never let it come back into your life.
Eg: Picasso never did the same painting twice.
Reversal: sometimes, you can use your name to rise to power, emphasizing that you are predestined to a great life, like Napoleon III did. Once you reach power, get rid of the past right away.
42. Strike The Shepherd And The Sheep Will Scatter
Problems in groups often originate from one single person. The way to stop them is to isolate – always more welcome than completely crushing them.
Isolation is great. It also works well in seduction. Once your target is isolated, they are more vulnerable and your presence is magnified.
By the same token, isolation will weaken you. Beware, as king, not to isolate yourself too much.
Reversal: only isolate people if you are strong enough for them not to isolate you back.
43. Work on The Hearts and Minds of Others
Don’t coerce people into doing what you want them to do – seduce them.
A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.
And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.
Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear.
Remember: The key to persuasion is softening people up and breaking them down, gently. Seduce them with a two-pronged approach: Work on their emotions and play on their intellectual weaknesses.
The quickest way to secure people’s minds is by demonstrating, as simply as possible, how an action will benefit them.
Self-interest is the strongest motive of all. A great cause may capture minds, but once the excitement is over, interest will flag – unless there is something to be gained.
Writers, artists, and intellectuals are very good at that. Make sure to win as many people as you can, as people you annoy will quickly try to destabilize you.
This law knows no reversal.
44. Disarm And Infuriate With The Mirror Effect
The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception. When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy.
The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact.
By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.
There are four types of Mirror Effect:
- The Neutralizing Effect: do what your enemies do, and they won’t understand your strategy.
- The Narcissus Effect: people are in love with themselves. When you reflect who they are psychologically, they will fall in love with you.
- The Moral Effect: do to others what they do to you.
- The Hallucinatory Effect: when people mistake what they see in the mirror for reality.
Reversal: Be careful because a situation, while seeming identical to a previous one, may not be. In the same way, you may think that a situation is different, but will end up identical.
45. Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform Too Much at Once
People want change, but they don’t want to change. People enjoy their habits. Every time a revolution is finished, it leaves a void that makes people cling to the past.
As a result, when you make some changes, attach them to the past. It will be easier on people.
Eg: when the Roman kingdom became a republic, they kept the number of consul to 12.
Another way to disguise change is to enact it while claiming support for the value of the past.
“A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light; but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.”
Reversal: don’t associate yourself with the past if the past was painful and violent. Furthermore, fashion and technology gain from getting rid of the past.
46. Never Appear Too Perfect
Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses.
Humans don’t like to deal with their own inferiority. When we meet great people, we become envious as they remind us of our own mediocrity.
It is smart to occasionally display defects and admit to vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.
Here’s how to deal with envy:
- Accept that you will meet people better than you, and let it push you to surpass them one day.
- Accept that as you gain power, those below you will envy you. Accept that people will work against you when they envy you.
- Seem unambitious when you gain political power.
- Give those who envy you something to fade on, give them “excuses” for your own success, or excuses for their failure. Or give them something that would show them that you’re not perfect.
Reversal: being careful with the envious can be more dangerous if they feel that you are downplaying yourself on purpose. As a result, sometimes you want to feel disdain for the envious and grovel in your perfection.
47. Do Not Go Past The Mark You Aimed For; In Victory, Learn When To Stop
The essence of strategy is to control what comes next. If you get drunk in victory, you lose control. It’s important to understand that life has a certain rhythm. Sometimes you win, so you should play. Sometimes you lose, so you should stop playing.
Furthermore, luck remains one of the reasons why you win. You may think it is thanks to you, but it’s usually thanks to luck. When luck leaves, you lose.
Finally, the moment when you stop and retire is important. Better to retire in victory, than in defeat.
Reversal: destroy a man, or leave him alone. When in battle, crush your opponents entirely. But do not go beyond that, so that you don’t create other enemies.
48. Assume Formlessness
By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move.
Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order.
People express themselves through forms, and these forms are constantly changing.
People that bring novelty are often welcome, but they’ll be thrown off when they become conservative and rigid.
Since everything changes constantly, here are three ways to deal with it.
- Take nothing personally.
- Never be defensive.
- See things through your own eyes, don’t take advice too much into account.
Reversal: formlessness does not mean dispersion. You still need to concentrate your efforts and forces somewhere.
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