16. Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
It’s great to shine brighter than others, but you eventually reach a point when people have too much of you.
This is especially the truth for seduction. Absence stimulates the imagination. When your presence is taken for granted, you are seen as less desirable. This is why whoever you are with should constantly fear that you will leave.
This is also why everyone loves people that die. Because they will never be back, some sort of aura floats around them.
Extend the law of scarcity to your own skills. Do what is rare, and be demanded.
Reversal: you can withdraw only after you have established a presence.
17. Keep Others In Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air Of Unpredictability
Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. So, be deliberately unpredictable.
Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they won’t be able to explain your moves. Taken to the extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.
Humans like routine, and live with a routine. When you break it, they fear you.
One way to do so is by being nice to people, then mean, then nice again, then mean, etc.
Reversal: predictability works when you put people asleep.
18. Do Not Build Fortresses To Protect Yourself – Isolation Is Dangerous
The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.
A fortress seems the safest, but isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from:
- It cuts you off from valuable information
- It makes you conspicuous and an easy target.
Better to circulate among people, find allies, mingle, than to be alone.
Isolation of a fortress creates more problems than it solves. Isolation creates awkwardness in your gestures, and leads to further isolation, as people start avoiding you.
The more you are in contact with others, the more graceful and at ease you become.
Reversal: isolation can be advised in only one case: thought. Social pressures make it hard to think for yourself. Isolation can help you gain perspective.
The only problem is that the more in isolation you are, the harder it is to break out of it.
19. Know Who You’re Dealing With – Do Not Offend The Wrong Person
There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way.
Some people may spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge.
There are five types of people you want to avoid offending.
1. The Arrogant and Proud Man: if you ever feel too much sensitivity and overactive pride in someone, don’t linger. Whatever you hope for isn’t worth it.
2. The Hopelessly Insecure Man: like above albeit less violent.
3. Mr. Suspicion: he imagines everyone is after him. The least dangerous of all five.
4. The Serpent With a Long Memory: Recognize this man by his calculation and cunning in the different areas of his life. He is usually cold and unaffectionate.
5. The Plain, Unassuming, and Often Unintelligent Man: this man will waste your time if you’re trying to deceive him.
Knowing who you are dealing with is the most important skill to conserve power.
This law knows no reversal.
20. Do Not Commit To Anyone
Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.
By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others— playing people against one another, making them pursue you for your support.
Part I: Do Not Commit To Anyone, But Be Courted By All
If you allow people to feel they possess you to any degree, you lose all power over them. By not committing your affections, they will only try harder to win you over.
Stay aloof and you gain the power that comes from their attention and frustrated desire. Play the Virgin Queen: give them hope but never satisfaction.
Not committing to anyone incurs a kind of respect. Aloofness is powerful, never be seen as part of a “camp”.
Part II: Do Not Commit To Anyone – Stay Above The Fray
Do not let people drag you into their drama. Seem interested and supportive, but find a way to remain neutral; let others do the fighting while you stand back, watch and wait.
When the fighting parties are good and tired they will be ripe for the picking. You can make it a practice, in fact, to stir up quarrels between other people, and then offer mediation, gaining power as the go-between.
To gain power, you need to be in control of your emotions. The problem is that others rarely are. Your self-control and autonomy may end up annoying them.
Listen, be supportive, but don’t intervene.
Reversal: there is no reversal. However, both being too distant and too close will turn against you. It’s a difficult game of equilibrium, but one worth playing.
21. Play A Sucker To Catch A Sucker – Seem Dumber Than Your Mark
No one likes feeling stupider than the next person.
The trick, then, is to make your victims feel smarter than you are. Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.
This law knows no reversal.
22. Use The Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness Into Power
When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead.
Surrender gives you:
- time to recover
- time to torment and irritate your conqueror
- time to wait for his power to wane.
Turn the other cheek, so you infuriate and unsettle your opponent. Make surrender a tool of power.
Overreaction to enemies often causes problems that would have been avoided had we stood still. Standing still takes away your opponents’ reason to be angry at you.
It is often better to surrender than to fight, especially in the battles you will lose.
As for running away, it won’t buy you enough rest time.
This law knows no reversal.
23. Concentrate Your Forces
Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point. You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time.
When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one thing that will give it to you.
Napoleon concentrated on one goal in life, and he concentrated on the weakest spot in his enemies’ army.
Casanova said the same of his success.
He said that when a man gets one goal into his head, he will succeed no matter what.
And most artists found out that it was better to gain one patron that paid for all of the art, than several who paid a bit.
Reversal: having the weakest army, Mao did not concentrate his forces but spread on several fronts using several tactics, such as sabotage. Tying yourself to one person is also dangerous as if they disappear, or change their mind, you lose your only liferaft.
Furthermore, being too single-minded can be boring, especially in art.
Da Vinci was interested in everything, which enabled him to create such nice pieces of art.
24. Play the Perfect Courtier
The laws of court politics:
1. Avoid ostentation: the more you talk about your deeds, the more suspicion you cause.
2. Practice nonchalance: Never seem to be working too hard. People should think you’re a genius, not a workaholic.
3. Be frugal with flattery: learn to flatter indirectly instead, such as by downplaying your contribution.
4. Be noticed: It’s a paradox. You should be noticed, but not too much.
5. Adapt your style and language to the person you are dealing with.
6. Never be the bearer of bad news: the king usually kills the messenger of bad news.
7. Never affect friendliness with your master: he wants a subordinate, not a friend.
8. Never criticize those above you directly: be subtle and indirect.
9. Don’t ask too many favors from those above you: and never ask a favor on someone’s behalf.
10. Never joke about appearances or taste: these are sensitive topics, and they will backfire.
11. Do not be the court cynic: admire the good work of others, don’t constantly criticize.
12. Be self-observant: try to see yourself how others see you.
13. Master your emotions: cry and laugh on demand.
14. Fit the spirit of the times: neither too progressive, neither too conservative.
15. Be a source of pleasure
25. Re-Create Yourself
Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.
Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Choose your own image, don’t let others define it.
Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions.
You are not only the character you were born with, but also the character of your environment. Stop letting others shape who you are. Work on yourself as an artist on the stone.
The first step in this process is self-consciousness.
The second step is to create a character that attracts attention.
This law knows no reversal.
26. Keep Your Hands Clean
You cannot be seen doing nasty deeds. Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s paws to disguise your involvement.
Part I: Conceal your mistakes: Have a scapegoat around to take the blame
Our good name and reputation depend more on what we conceal than on what we reveal. Everyone makes mistakes, but those who are truly clever hide them and make sure someone else is blamed. Always have a scapegoat.
A scapegoat serves to shift guilt and sin onto someone else (like an animal) which is then banished and destroyed.
This happened because people rarely look at themselves as the origin of a crappy situation.
Part II: Make Use Of The Cat’s paw
Don’t do the dirty work yourself, use a cat’s paw. The cat’s paw grabs what you need, hurts whom you need to hurt, and keeps people from noticing that you are the one responsible.
Leaders that work harder than anyone else don’t appear as powerful, but weak. The same way that the powerful don’t do the dirty work themselves. Everything looks good around them.
Reversal: be careful when using cat’s paws and scapegoats. If you are discovered as the puppet master, the whole dynamic will turn against you.
27. Play On People’s Need To Believe To Create A Cultlike Following
People have the desire to believe in something.
Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow.
Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking.
Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf.
In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.
How to create a cult in five easy steps
- Keep it vague and simple: first, attract attention with your words, not your action. Promise something great and transformative, and totally vague.
- Emphasize the visual and the sensual over the intellectual: once you have an audience, two dangers lurk: boredom and skepticism. Make sure you entertain and chase out the cynics.
- Borrow the forms of organized religion to structure the group: create rituals, a hierarchy, ranks, and give titles. Talk and act like a prophet.
- Disguise your source of income: never reveal your wealth comes from your followers, don’t surround yourself with too much luxury.
- Set up an us-versus-them dynamic: to avoid boredom, make sure your followers believe they are part of a unique group. To strengthen the feeling, make it seem as if the “other people” are trying to tear the group apart. If you have no enemies, invent one.
Reversal: it’s easier to deceive a group than it is to deceive an individual. However, if the group comes after you, it becomes much more dangerous than an individual. Be careful.
28. Enter Action with Boldness
If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it.
Your doubts and hesitations will spoil the execution. Timidity is dangerous. Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity.
Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.
Boldness VS Hesitation
- Hesitation puts obstacles on your path. Boldness takes them away.
- The bolder the lie, the better: entering action with boldness hides deficiencies.
- Lions circle the hesitant preys: once you are perceived as someone that easily backs away, you will be abused and pushed around.
- Boldness strikes fear, which creates authority: by intimidating with a bold move, you set up a precedent. People will now be scared of you.
- Going halfway with half a heart digs the deeper grave
- Hesitation creates gaps, boldness obliterates them: Timidity creates awkwardness and embarrassment. Boldness destroys such things.
- Audacity separates you from the herd
In seduction, hesitation is fatal.
Most people are shy. They’re afraid to look stupid and be judged by others.
But it creates awkwardness. Boldness is more commonly accepted.
No one is born bold, it is something you develop over time.
In fact, neither boldness nor timidity is natural.
We fear the consequences of boldness because we were taught not to harm others. In practice, the opposite often happens. Boldness doesn’t hurt, but timidity does.
Reversal: boldness must be used at the right time, in the right situation.
29. Plan All the Way to the End
The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible obstacles.
By planning to the end, you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. You will no longer be tempted by emotion or by the desire to improvise.
Your clarity will rid you of the anxiety and vagueness that are the primary reasons why so many fail to conclude their actions successfully. You see the ending and you tolerate no deviation.
Most people’s plan for the future is based on their desire instead of on reality. This is why you should have a plan.
Reversal: your plan can’t be too rigid as not everything can be controlled in life. Adapt.
30. Make your Accomplishments Seem effortless
Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. Make people believe you act effortlessly and don’t reveal how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.
Artists did not allow anyone to watch them work, as they knew that the magic disappeared when one was seen making too much effort for something.
What is understandable is not awe-inspiring.
Furthermore, when you tell people how you do something, they can use that info against you.
Reversal: don’t work too hard to hide, as you will look like you are taking it too seriously.
31. Control the Options: Get Others to Play With the Cards You Deal
Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose.
While we don’t want to be deprived of choice, too much yields anxiety. As a result, we’re often most happy with a few options.
Here are a few techniques that give the illusion of the choice.
- Color the option: give out three or four options, but present your favorite one in a much better way.
- Force the resister: if you tell a kid not to walk on the road, he will. If you force him to walk on the road, he will be happy to come back on the pathway.
- Alter the playing field: when Rockefeller built his oil monopoly, he didn’t buy the oil companies, but the railway that was serving them. When he controlled the railway, he forced the oil companies to sell – or he would bankrupt them.
- The shrinking options: decrease the attractiveness of the option as time goes by (plane tickets increase in prices).
- The Weak Man on the Precipice: like color the option, but much more aggressive.
- Brothers in Crime: get someone to do something illegal with you and they will leave you alone.
- The Hornes of a Dilemma: you’re left with two options, and neither of them is positive.
Reversal: never seem to be exercising power outright, always give the illusion of choice. Sometimes, when you don’t restrict choices at all, you allow your opponent to be free and can observe his strategy.
