Takeaway
- Simps believe the lie that they are unlovable because they never got their social needs met.
- Simps seek artificial ways to get liked by girls that worsen their situation.
- This makes them only more frustrated, passive-aggressive, and fake.
- Simps must get their needs met in order to stop being simps. They need to go out, talk to people, relax, chill have fun, and slowly and gradually talk to women to realize that they’re just human beings.
Wikipedia defines a simp as “someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship.”
Beyond the disgust that such men (simps are male in 99.9% of cases) usually inspire, simps are hopeless, angry, and depressed men, lost in a world that isn’t what they were taught it was.
Understand: it’s no fun to be a simp.
Here’s how simps come to be, and how to stop being one.
Table of Contents
- Takeaway
- The Original Lie
- The Reinforcement of the Simp Identity
- Simp Behavior’s Consequences
- Simps and Women
- How to Stop Being a Simp
- Conclusion
- NB
The Original Lie
Simps, Nice Guys, or Incels are all the same thing.
They’re men that have been told the lie that they are not worthy of love as they are.
They translated this falsehood as the need on their part to overcompensate this inner unworthiness by doing things that they don’t want to do in order to please other people (particularly women).
There are several ways that simps integrate this lie.
It may have been that the simp’s father was himself a simp. In that case, the boy copies the mental and emotional models of his father and becomes a simp too — cursing the generation until it dies off or one of the men breaks the cycle.
It may have been that the simp’s parents did not show him enough love and attention. As a result, the simp goes to find these in other places where he learns that in order to be loved, he needs to “do something”.
It might have been that the boy was rejected by a girl very early on for another, more attractive boy. The boy is then likely to integrate that he didn’t get the girl because he’s flawed.
In anyways, the message that simps receive is that in no social context should they be allowed to be themselves because they’re inherently bad or not enough.
To be worthy of love, they should compensate for their lack of “value” by being overly nice to people.
Ironically, this makes them even less likable.
The Reinforcement of the Simp Identity
Once the boy integrated the fact that he wasn’t enough, he seeks ways to overcompensate and get his needs met.
99.9999% of the time, this feeling of unworthiness stems from struggling to find a girl that he likes and that likes him back.
As a result, the main question the boy seeks to answer is what do I have to do to get girls?
And so he goes to ask by far the worse entity he should ever ask anything to: the mainstream narrative.
Who’s the mainstream narrative?
- Hollywood
- Mainstream media and magazines
- Parents, teachers
Anyone who’s still so deeply ingrained in the matrix they deny its very existence.
What the mainstream narrative teaches about women is the exact opposite of what they should actually teach, namely that:
- The good guys always get the girl. This lie reinforces niceness in simps.
- Life is fair. Simps translate this as buying her food or doing her homework in hopes of getting liked in return.
- The girl kisses the guy first. This teaches men to wait and be passive, something that women can’t stand about them.
- The weird kid that nobody likes gets the hottest girl. Lol. In real life, he gets bullied, then becomes an alcoholic.
Unfortunately, no one’s there to tell the boy that all this is garbage.
As a result, he believes it.
Simp Behavior’s Consequences
Being a simp leads to several problems.
1. Frustration.
Simps are naturally frustrated because:
- Nobody loves them.
- They think that nobody loves them because they are inherently flawed.
- The more they try to “do it well”, the less it works.
Instead of observing and questioning the narrative, simps go ever deeper into it.
“If she doesn’t like me, that’s because texting her 30 times a day is not enough. I should text her more!”
2. Fakeness
Since simps believe that they are flawed, they think that they need to be “someone else” to be liked.
So they become overly nice, which comes across as fake (because it is fake) and discourages *even more* people to engage with them.
3. Passive-aggressive behavior
Because simps hide their true intentions, no one can ever be sure of what they actually want. This is confusing.
They make so many efforts “to be nice” because they expect something in return.
When they don’t get it, they make “the other person feel” that they’re not getting their needs met.
Instead of being clear by voicing their expectations and intentions, they “punish” the other person by withdrawing attention, stop answering texts, or suddenly get angry for “no reason”.
Simps and Women
Simps are called such due to their behavior toward women.
The main characteristic by which they are identifiable is their neediness.
Simps do everything to gain women’s attention — and as a result, get none of it.
- They will rearrange their schedule for women.
- They will buy gifts and food for women.
- They will constantly call/text, and answer women right away.
- They will tell women how they feel very early on (ironically, this is often advised by women to simps despite that no woman in the history of the world has ever liked that).
- They will force themselves to do stuff for women that they don’t want to do (passive-aggressive).
The problem is that women don’t really like guys that do everything for them — quite the opposite.
Women like guys *they* do everything for.
If you want to know the kind of guys women like, take the points above and reverse them:
- Women like guys that are too busy to meet with them.
- Women like guys that don’t buy them anything and for whom they buy things.
- Women like guys they constantly call and that never call them.
- Women like guys that seem they don’t really like them.
- Women like guys that exclusively do what they want to do.
See?
Complete opposite.
How to Stop Being a Simp
99.9% of online advice on how to stop being a simp boils down to the following:
Just stop.
This is laughable and ridiculous, but then so is online content about anything.
Remember what the Buddha said: to solve a problem, you need to identify its cause.
So…why are simps, simps?
Simps are men that don’t have their social and charnel needs met.
Voila. A simp thirsts for women and attention the same way Germans thirst for Russian gas.
As a result, if you want to stop being a simp, you need to get your needs met — no choice.
Advice that says “just stop simping” would be like saying to a hungry person “just stop being hungry”.
Lol.
If we could just all stop feeling hunger, thirst, tiredness, or the need to have sex, we would.
But we can’t.
So, how do you get your social needs met as a simp?
People don’t like you because you simp because you don’t get your social needs met because people don’t like you because you simp because…sounds like a vicious cycle, doesn’t it?
It is.
So you need to break the cycle.
The first thing to do is to stop being nice and fake as this puts everyone off.
How do you do that?
- Write down all the things you do but don’t enjoy doing in order to get something you want: eg: going to a concert you don’t like with a girl you like.
- Stop doing ONE THING from this list for a week.
- Write down all of the things you want to do but don’t do because you think people will stop liking you. Eg: listening to a certain type of music, dressing in a certain way, reading certain things, etc.
- Start doing ONE THING from that list for a week.
- Repeat points 2 and 4 weekly.
The purpose is to gradually get you to become who you are (or at least, who you want to be) for the positive effects you will harvest as a result, namely:
- Being happier. Simps are generally not happy.
- Being comfortable in your own skin.
- Being more aligned and in touch with yourself.
- Being less fake and more genuine.
As time passes, you will find it easier to interact with people so you can get your social needs met.
This in turn will make you happier so people will want to interact more with you.
The purpose of these is to break the simping vicious cycle to replace it with a virtuous cycle.
Now, I’ll be honest.
Simps’ false truths are often so engrained in their psyche that they’d be better off doing therapy than trying to fix themselves like that.
While cognitive-behavioral therapy is often chosen, there are today other cheaper and faster alternatives like hypnotherapy or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
CBT takes years. The ones above take weeks.
No medical advice.
Conclusion
Simps are simps due to the lack of love, attention, and affection they received; due to the lies from the mainstream media and society; and due to their complete ignorance regarding women’s inner workings.
By getting rid of all of the fakeness about themselves and becoming more genuine, they will be able to connect with people, improve their social skills, and get their social needs met which in turn will make them both happier and more attractive.
Simping is a vicious cycle.
The only way to get out of it is to break it.
For more articles, head to auresnotes.com.
NB
I’m not saying that stopping simping will get you girls immediately.
You still need to do what we all need to do: going to the gym, earning money, dressing well, getting a hobby you’re passionate about, becoming more social, etc.
My point is that stopping simping is the first thing you need on the path to getting a better life.
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